hmmmm... stuff happened again.. heard more stuff.. i dunno if i should say the stuff to sum people or not.. its like.. i dunno what will happen if i say.. cuz its like.. say liao dunno they will happy or sad.. haiz~ how how? advice me please..... sum people opened up and started to talk.. its ok de.. i dun mind.. haiz.. but now.. its like.. i cant say my stuff le.. cuz if i say.. den it will seem like im dui bu qi-ing that person lidat.. haiz~ and i dunno if i should tell that good fren of mine also or not.. cuz its regarding that person.. but what if my fren knows how? den arent i dead? haiz.. how how how? what to do now??

haiz.. why muz this always happen? its like.. i feel i always dui bu qi my frens.. always throw their trust in me away.. i hate it.. but.. apparently it always happens.. i dun wan it to be this way.. it really sux.. and another thing.. why is it that that person must always be sumone close to me? if its like that.. i really dun wanna lose sumone like that.. den.. i cant say out how i feel.. it REALLY SUCKS.. cuz i dunno what will happen afterwards.. why am i always so afraid?? haiz~
i know le.. CUZ IT ALWAYS INVOLVE PEOPLE ARND ME.

haiz~ oh man.. oh yea.. and kim told me that i sound damn bloody sad here.. always do.. do i? seriously how do i sound here? tag on my board or tell it to me in school.. i wanna know.. cuz if i sound sad here.. den im contradicting myself.. people will say i act emo here blah blah blah cuz i dun show my " sadness " in sch..

hmmm.. what else.. oh yea.. i feel that what im saying.. acting.. showin.. is bring me and sumone further apart.. maybe cuz that person will not be happy by what i said.. or angry or upset or whatever by what i say and do and blah blah.. im not seeking for that person's attention or anythin but i just feel that we are further apart now than last time..

Am I such a bad person??

maybe i am to some.. maybe im a person that is just so hateful and cannot be accepted by some.. i dunno.. i know that my mom hates me.. in a way.. cuz she cannot tahan my personality.. whatever~

i cannot comment on the guy's problem cuz im also facing the problem.. and the same.. i will only do what they will do when that person changes..
im not saying im perfect and wun commit the same mistake, everyone has their bad points.. [[ quote from jiamin ]] i just cannot tolerate that person's bad points anymore.. sry..

adonis jiamin jason me talked a lot at the bball court that day.. cant remember which day but i know we talked a lot.. and i feel so.. i mean. ok.. in a way i understand why le.. but.. i still feel that he very ke lian.. sorry la.. i mean.. yea.. i know and understand how it feels to be isolated and hated.. yea.. maybe thats why we have diff points of views..

yesterday.. stayed back to help ah gong.. but in the end we went offtrack and played instead.. den we went to the bball court.. saw softballers playin against diyao they all.. so we didnt go.. went back to bench.. den after a while we went back to court with ben and adonis... saw shannon and yongwei.. he was hungry.. helped him by 2 pack of milo..shannon said cant drink so much milo.. cuz will puke de.. lol.. den they played.. almost got hit by the ball.. den took a short video.. lol.. quite farnie bahx.. hmmm.. den after that started to drizzle.. i went back.. den after a while they came back too.. i felt tired.. hmmm.. most of them were dripping wet.. yongwei sweat like shit.. ah gong too.. den sat a while.. went home.. at 2 plus.. so early.. ah well.. told chen min that im leaving.. cuz she is ending at 5 plus.. so didnt wait..

thats all... imseriouslyfeelingdamnsadanddepressednowbuticanturntonoonecuzeveryoneiseithernotfreeormyprobinvolvedthem.. sian..

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